[noise]

I’ve just done something that makes me feel kind of icky: I’ve just made my resume public on Monster.  The most immediate effect of this is that someone at work will see it within a day.  What I have not done, yet, is update it with my latest job experience.

I don’t want to do this.  I like my company, in the abstract.  Great, great ideas.  Shitty fucking execution.  All talk, no management.  And what I need at this point in my career is some fucking awesome mentoring.  Or I’d settle for reasonable utilization.  Or professional development.  I’m not getting any of that.  I won’t get it at a competitor, either, so if I’m doing this I guess I’m doing it to change gears.

I think the thing that’s set me off, finally, is the goddamn rudeness.  It only gets pointed in my direction occasionally, which is more than enough.  It’s never, ever okay to be internally unprofessional, unless you’re talking to someone you don’t give a shit about.  So that’s my answer, I guess.

I may change my mind by morning.  I just now got an email from a customer that we don’t hear from very often, asking me some necessary questions.  Why?  Because I’m not a goddamn asshole, they know I’ll answer the question knowledgeably and not be a dick about it.

I’m not sure I know how to convince a potential employer how smart I am, and I don’t really want to have to, I’d rather have it recognized and used by the one I’ve already got, but I think this is why I’ve been feeling so shitty lately.